


In Silence, Truth

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Series: The Destined Duo Saga [2]
Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Developing Relationship, Donuts, Friends to Lovers, Gen or Pre-Slash, Homoeroticism, M/M, Massive Amounts of Subtext, douwata - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-08 01:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4286004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I won't let you go," Doumeki vowed.</p><p>There was a flush rising to Watanuki's face. His ears felt warm. He bit the inside of his lip and turned his head away. There was something to Doumeki's words, something so much more than what Doumeki was actually saying, something that Watanuki didn't dare to entertain and yet...</p><p>"... Good," Watanuki said quietly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Silence, Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Must give kudos to [username_goes_here ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/username_goes_here)for writing such an amazing Watanuki that I can so selfishly use as a sounding board for my Doumeki, and thus, inspired parts of this story. You're an amazing writer and help me to be better in this fandom, too.

_"Why do you keep trying to make wishes for me?"_

The question that Doumeki had asked earlier on in the day was still haunting Watanuki as he tried to sleep that night. Staring at the ceiling of his apartment, he couldn't think of a reason _why_ he kept trying to do for Doumeki - he hated the arrogant bastard - but he failed to simply let anything go.

Granted, the wishes that he made or tried to make were usually of a large caliber, usually in response to something that Doumeki had been witness to _because_ of Watanuki. Such as hurting his arm or losing his eye. Those had happened because of him, and it was his job to make the wishes to make up for it.

_"You don't owe me anything."_

Unfortunately, that wasn't entirely true. Because all of the things that Doumeki _did_ do for him, as much as Watanuki hated to admit it, were never things that he could pay back with bentos or helping clean the temple.

It wasn't fair. First he had to deal with seeing these spirits all the time, and then he had to deal with Doumeki dealing with the spirits _for_ him, and because of that, he had to put up with Doumeki's ridiculous face and the favors he owed him.

It just wasn't fair.

_"We're not friends."_

Neither was the way that Doumeki had blatantly come out and said that they weren't friends, which, in retrospect, was absolutely true. He hated the brute. He hated his face and he hated his voice and he hated that he had to keep taking lunch orders from him, especially when they were complicated. But...

They weren't friends, but they weren't enemies, either. They were acquaintances, at best, but their... partnership went further than that, too.

Damn that Doumeki. Why did he have to go and ask such stupid questions?

Watanuki folded his arm over his eyes and sighed, his breath turning to mist in the cold air of his apartment. The snow outside of his window was fitting, for the rest of his body felt inordinately chilled, too.

 

 

"Oi."

Watanuki spun on his heel, prepared to spring despite the sleep clinging stubbornly to his eyes. "My name's not 'Oi'! It's-"

"Watanuki-kun!"

Watanuki straightened up, spinning around to face the incoming member to their party. "Himawari-chan~" There was a relationship that he didn't need to explain!

"Good morning," Himawari chirped. "And to you, Doumeki-kun!"

"Hey."

Watanuki huffed a breath in Doumeki's direction - go away, go away, go _away_ \- and turned back to Himawari for the perfect distraction on the way to school.

 

 

"You never answered my question."

A feeling not unlike a chill ran down Watanuki's spine at the voice that spoke from behind him. His grip on the shovel tightened and he frantically went back to shoveling the snow, pushing it out of the way as though summer was never coming. "I don't have to answer anyone," he proclaimed, and did not look back at Doumeki.

Doumeki didn't respond immediately. There was the sound of another shovel scraping the cement, and maybe that was it, maybe Doumeki was going to let his stupid questions with his stupid hard-to-find answers go-

"Don't try to make any more wishes for me."

Or not. But, despite all of his confusion, Watanuki was immediately back on the defensive. He had a _right_ , damn it! "I'm not doing it for you," he retorted, pointing accusingly at him. "I'm doing it because... because it's usually my fault that you end up needing wishes in the first place!"

If he couldn't do anything else, then he'd continue to do what he did, and if that involved making wishes to fix whatever trouble he'd gotten Doumeki into, then he was going to keep doing it.

"That's my choice," Doumeki said flatly. "You don't ow-"

"But I do!" Watanuki interrupted. He stopped when he realized that Doumeki was looking at him too closely, and turned his head away. "... I always will," he muttered, staring hard into the snow. He wanted to melt into it. "Nothing else I do can make up for the things you do for me. So... this is _my_ choice," he mumbled, tucking his chin into his scarf.

Doumeki didn't say anything. Neither did Watanuki, although he fidgeted with his gloves in irritation for this being so damn awkward and he wished Himawari hadn't been assigned to work inside today.

The scrape of a shovel against snow-covered cement made Watanuki flinch.

"Moron."

"What?!" Watanuki glared at the back of Doumeki's head as his classmate continued shoveling. "What did you just say?"

"I said you're a moron," Doumeki replied calmly, flinging snow aside.

Watanuki had to duck out of the way of the particles that came his way, and he gaped at Doumeki's back. "Like you're so better! You continually risk your life, too, and what's your big reason??" he demanded.

"Because I don't want you hurt."

Watanuki stiffened.

Doumeki's shovel paused. He didn't turn back around. "Because I don't want you to go away." He was silent for a beat and then went back to shoveling.

Watanuki was frozen into inaction, stuck on the precipice of shock and something else that was locked around his chest, squeezing too tightly. His breath felt too thin, going back to shoveling seemed like too much work, but...

He gripped onto his shovel and silently shoved it under the snow.

 

 

"... I don't want you to be hurt, either." Watanuki clutched at his knees and stared at the cold steps beneath him, and tried not to notice as Doumeki stopped munching on his tempura as he looked at him.

These things that Doumeki said, they got in his head and wouldn't leave him alone and, and he hadn't had a good night's sleep in a week.

"And I don't want you to go away," he mumbled.

He didn't. He may hate him, but he didn't want him to go away. Life would be _so_ boring, and Watanuki maybe didn't just _need_ him as well as...

He dug his fingers into his kneecaps.

And then proceeded to gather his bento and leave the stairwell before Doumeki could respond.

 

 

"Make sure to meet up with Doumeki-kun~" Yuuko sung, handing him his thermos of steaming ginger tea and shoving his shoulder with her free hand.

"I don't want to meet up with that jerk," Watanuki muttered, only halfheartedly because if he tried to focus on anything than finding his feet over the genkan as Yuuko pushed him to the door, he'd fall on his face and that was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

"Now, now, Watanuki, you know you need him!" Everything that Yuuko said about them seemed as though she found pleasure in it all, and she probably did. "Especially with the mamemaki, you know!"

Watanuki grabbed the door. "Wait just a minute! The point of the mamemaki is to dispel the demons, so why the hell would I need Doumeki with me? It's a shrine, too!"

"Well, it's not a full moon, but the veil between the spirit world and the physical world _is_ particularly thin, so you never know. I'll be along later! Be good, Watanuki!"

The Doumeki shrine wasn't nearly as busy as other shrines during Setsubun, but it was still strange to see so many people congregated in such a familiar place. Doumeki seemingly appeared out of nowhere, unmelting from the crowd to greet him.

"Hey."

"Ughh... hey." Watanuki's lips twisted into a frown as he looked around. "I don't think I've ever seen so many people here."

"Yeah." Doumeki looked at him expectantly.

Watanuki did a double take at him and scowled, holding out the bento box towards him. " _Yes_ , I made eho-maki but remember that you have to eat the whole thing in silence!"

Like that would be a problem with that brute.

" _Ugh_ , where's Himawari-chan?" Watanuki complained some time later. "And where's Yuuko-san, she was supposed to be here by now."

"Mm." Doumeki held out his cup.

Watanuki sighed, dutifully pouring him another cup of ginger tea. "If I knew I was spending Setsubun with you, I would have stayed home."

"It's good that you didn't."

Watanuki paused, looking up at him. "Huh?"

"There may have been spirits," Doumeki said flatly, looking at him over his steaming tea.

"Eh, there's always spirits." He set the thermos down. "It doesn't matter about casting them out, although I suppose maybe it does help with the stronger ones. I don't happen across those much anymore..." he stopped, looking up at Doumeki slightly. He had him to thank for that, didn't he? Mamemaki or not, Doumeki was his personal spirit repellent.

"What?" Doumeki intoned.

Watanuki huffed and jerked his gaze away. "Nothing, jeez!" He slumped over, sighing heavily. "Man, can I just leave now?"

"Stay awhile longer."

Watanuki felt his body tense up again, for reasons he wasn't sure why. It was just, when Doumeki did that _thing_ , the thing where he kind of had a little more interest than usual (it was usually none, unless it involved food), and he seemed to show interest in _Watanuki_ and it made Watanuki freeze up because he wasn't used to that attention from, well, anyone...

Doumeki glanced down at him. "Kunogi-san said she'd be here. So did Yuuko-san. Right?"

Watanuki groaned, slumping over further. "Fiiiine. Only because Himawari-chan said she'd be here and I don't want to disappoint her!"

Doumeki didn't reply.

Watanuki braced his hands on his thighs. The sleeves of their robes brushed against each other, and their hair blew in the uncomfortably cool breeze.

 

 

"Protect our Watanuki, Doumeki-kun~"

"Of course."

"Don't say ‘of course’! And don't say ‘our Watanuki!’"

 

 

"... Owww..."

"You're awake."

"... what happened...?" he mumbled, reaching for his glasses. His fingers were bandaged, and his body was aching.

"I missed."

The terseness in Doumeki's voice brought back the memory of the mission that they had been on, the spirit, the pain, Doumeki putting himself in the line of danger after missing with his first arrow...

Watanuki stared at the blood dried on Doumeki's hands blankly. "... You could have died, you idiot," he mumbled.

"So could have you," Doumeki retorted, almost with actual emotion. Sternness. Exhaustion. Worry?

Watanuki sighed thinly. "Again."

"I won't let you."

Watanuki opened his eyes in surprise. There was definitely something in Doumeki's usually monotone voice.

"I won't let you go," Doumeki vowed. "I won't let you."

There was a flush rising to Watanuki's face. His ears felt warm. He bit the inside of his lip and turned his head away. There was something to Doumeki's words, something so much more than what Doumeki was actually saying, something that Watanuki didn't dare to entertain and yet...

"... Good," Watanuki said quietly.

Was that Doumeki, stunned into silence? Probably not.

"I don't wanna leave anytime soon," he continued, and _definitely_ did not (definitely did) fold his arms over his eyes before he could die from the embarrassment. "So that means you can't, either. Because... I... need you. To do this."

The words didn't hurt nearly as much as he thought they might.

He didn't see Doumeki's wide eyed look of surprise because he didn't move his arms from his face.

 

 

" _Watanuki!_ "

There was a screech that went on for inhumanly long and Watanuki tightened his grip around his head, the scream echoing in his head and making his ears throb. The weight of the spirit pressing down on him was crushing the air out of his lungs, he was going to die he was going to die Doumeki was calling him by his name he was going to die he was going to die _he was going to die_ -

The press of the spirit vanished, leaving Watanuki gasping for oxygen and grasping for his purchase on reality.

"Watanuki, _hey_!" There were hands on his shoulders, his arms, pulling them away from his head, replaced by calloused fingers against his cheeks, cupping either side of his face with the most impossibly gentle of touches. "Hey!"

Watanuki opened his eyes slowly as his heart thudded painfully in his chest. He felt sick, he felt... "W-Wha... what are you..."

Doumeki looked down at him intently, still gripping Watanuki's face between his hands. "Are you alright?"

He couldn't think properly. Doumeki was waiting for an answer. Yuuko and Mokona were nearby, too. "... U-Uh..." He wasn't fine, he was bleeding, he was in pain, but he was _alive_. And Doumeki was hovering over him, staring down at him with crazy determination, and Watanuki's cheeks were going hot not just because of the warm hands on his face.

Doumeki seemed to realize, or maybe he noticed Watanuki blushing. He sat back on his legs, releasing Watanuki's face, although his expression stayed the same. He didn't look an ounce of the flustered feeling that Watanuki felt. "Are you alright?" Doumeki repeated.

Watanuki swallowed. He nodded slightly - his head was still pounding - and tried to sit up. "... Uh huh."

Doumeki gripped his arm, helping him up.

"That was stupid, Watanuki!" Yuuko pouted, crossing her arms. She was standing behind Doumeki, with Mokona on her shoulder. The pork bun had adopted a similar pose as Yuuko's. "Who else am I supposed to have fix my meals??"

Watanuki sighed, a half laugh, and didn't miss the way that Doumeki seemed to let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"Let's get you back to the shop," Yuuko said softly, crouching down next to him.

Watanuki nodded slowly, accepting her hand to get back to his feet. Doumeki didn't let go of his shoulder and, when he finally did, he gripped Watanuki's wrist instead.

Watanuki leaned slightly against Doumeki's shoulder. They studiously did not need to talk about it, and Watanuki was content in the knowledge that they would never have to.

**Author's Note:**

> I love the DouWata, but it has to be subtle for me. Wild fucking and PWPs are fine, too, but I think their relationship just works better with subtlety. ~~(but that's probably just me)~~
> 
>  ~~~~I do not own xXxHoLic. Thanks for reading!


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